in tudobom

Drawing in public

When I was young, at school around 12yrs, you could not draw in something or doodle at your notebook that in 5min someone would appear and ask “Who is it? Is it you? Is it me? Draw me?”, that was a certainty. As growing old it even turned to a intern joke inside my group of friends who draw, anytime someone would start drawing we would ask “Who is it? Is it you? Is it me? Draw me?”. I don’t remember why I was timid at the time, or if I just didn’t want to speak too much for lack of confidence in my drawing skills or at my faggish voice, I kinda started drawing more and more privately.

It continued like that till college, some friends of mine would know I draw, but not everyone, even though I’d draw during the whole class, I’d not let anyone see it so much.

This changed totally now, for my final degree work I had to stay in the parking lot, everywhere in the campus, sat drawing the trees. And somehow no one gives a shit. People look, but they get closer, it’s as if you’re holding a camera preparing to take a photo and everyone kinda contours you so they don  ‘t spoil the photo.

This shocked me. Why no one is bothering me? How I’m getting this much peace when I’m just holding a clipboard and a pencil? It feel like as I’m a nun, or someone mystical that you’re supposed to disturb. At most, in my eating breaks, someone would come to congratulate or ask what I’m doing, but always so respectful.

It feels somehow, as a biologist, when you’re doing a work, people see you mostly as a teacher, scientist or a hippie. They kinda get your work but it feels like they just think it’s very close from what their grandma who likes gardening does, which sometimes it’s very true. But when you’re drawing everyone kinda connects and see themselves at it, because more or less, everyone as kid loved drawing but somewhere in the way gave up and now feels impotent at it.

Last week, at my birthday, I went to the beach to spend the whole day and draw. And I happened the same thing. While I’m sleeping, tanning or whatever, everyone stops by to sell something to me, so many sellers. As soon as I get my sketchbook, no one stops by anymore, I’m left alone.  At most, one sellers ask to see my drawings and congratulate me. It feels like I’m accessible yet so respected, maybe like a 3yrs old just playing by himself at the sand. It feels very great!

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